Rules Worth Singing About

My smoke’n hot aerobics instructor once told me, she would trade her body and the grueling work she had invested in it, just for a nice voice. I have to say I would do the same except, I am missing a hard body to use as collateral.

Technically, my voice is okay. My problem lies in the area of pitch. Thanks to my husband’s gift of honesty, I am aware I have a tone deficiency. My mind knows songs require specific notes, but my vocal chords prefer to choose their own.

My grandmother tried to help, by funding voice lessons during my high school years. To her dismay, my one and only concert was terrifying for me and the audience. Consequently, I decided to implement a set of rules regarding acceptable singing practices. I adhere to these rules religiously, they have served me well.

1. Never, under any circumstances, sing without back up music unless you are alone.

2. Happy Birthday completely is off limits. Mouth the words instead.

3. If you must sing in the presence of other people, do so quietly.

4. On the rare and wonderful occasion a band is blaring, you are standing next to family, and no one is in directly in front of you, you may sing loudly.(ex: an actual concert or the youth group worship service)

5. Under all costs, avoid risky conversations about favorite songs that could require a rendition of the song in order to jog the other person’s memory. (They wouldn’t be able to identify it anyway)

6. Only lullabies, Sunday school and silly kids songs, sung to children under the age of 10 are acceptable.

A few Sundays back, God decided I needed to fine tune my thoughts on the whole singing matter. Worship service had just started. Following the worship teams lead, I opened my mouth to sing, when I heard a woman’s voice screech the words “Holy, Holy, Holy”. I almost choked on my gum. It was obvious this wounded crow was unaware of “the rules”. Once I regained my composer, I felt sorry for her. She was embarrassing herself and making me uncomfortable. "Merciful and Mighty" bellowed over my shoulder causing me too long for a purse size BB gun, so I could put her out of her misery. Then, during “All the Saints Adore the” God had a talk with my heart. He let me know, if there were actually singing rules, I was the one breaking them. The precious soul behind me sounded like a lark to Him. He was beaming at her decision to praise Him full force, despite what people might think. I softened and pictured Susann Boyle singing her heart out in front of the entire world. Suddenly, the bold voice coming from behind sounded like a lark to me too. I want to be a lark.

I have a new hobby. I thoroughly enjoy shocking unsuspecting church go-ers with my squawks of praise, despite the red faces of my family.

 Worship the LORD with gladness;

come before him with joyful songs

Psalm 100:2

Lord, forgive me for being full of pride. I was so worried about what others thought, I didn’t give you the praise you deserve. Thank you for placing a beautiful lark behind me, teaching me what true worship is. In Jesus name, Amen



Natalie London said...

It must be familial! The children correct me all the time on my pitch and tune. These are people all under the age of 6, and they are more aware of these things than I am. Oh well- I still love it, and their rendition of "peace like a river" is still very moving.
Belt it out sister, belt it out!

Tess said...

Just think - another reason to be excited about going to heaven! We'll have new bodies, which I believe means PERFECT PITCH!!!! Can you hear it??? All those voices in heaven praising God, in perfect pitch ~ WOW! But remember, God inhabits praise in any pitch.

Leah Clancy said...

Your soooo right Tess!

amy said...

So I just found this after some shameless plug! LOVE IT!!! You are a funny writer... after reading just one post, I'll be back for more!! YAY Leah!!!!!!

Leah Clancy said...

Amy!!!! Okay, if you think it's funny it must be funny. Thanks for the kind words!

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